


The Forgotten Sex Toy (5SOS Group Chat)

by flowercrownmikey



Series: Texting [4]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Calum and Ashton don't think before they type, Group chat, Luke is embarrassed a lot, M/M, Muke Clemmings, Sex Toys, a feel good fic, just fun, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 07:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9425585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowercrownmikey/pseuds/flowercrownmikey
Summary: Ashton: I think we need to talk about itCalum: about whatLuke: about whatAshton: the fact that when I was cleaning our shared houseLuke: please don'tAshton: I find a GAY SEX TOY stuffed into the cushions of our SHARED SOFA and I TOUCHED it with my own HAND before I realised that I had my hand on a fucking ANAL VIBRATOROR// Ashton finds a sex toy and demands an explanation in the group chat.





	

**Ashton** : I think we need to talk about it 

 **Calum** : about what 

 **Luke** : about what 

 **Ashton** : the fact that when I was cleaning our shared house

 **Luke** : please don't 

 **Ashton** : I find a GAY SEX TOY stuffed into the cushions of our SHARED SOFA and I TOUCHED it with my own HAND before I realised that I had my hand on a fucking ANAL VIBRATOR

 **Michael** : Error 505 

 **Ashton** : I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS. 

 **Ashton** : can I just know who owns the sex toy 

 **Calum** : look I don't want to know, I don't think anyone wants to know. Let whoever owns it use it in peace. 

 **Ashton** : it's you isn't it

 **Calum** : why the fuck would I own any sex toys you have you met me 

 **Michael** : it's probably Calum's 

 **Luke** : I'm too young to have this conversation 

 **Calum** : can we just forgot about it and pretend it never happened like we were doing until you felt the need to start a whole god damn group chat about 'the forgotten sex toy' 

 **Ashton** : you weren't there

 **Ashton** : you don't know the feeling of minding you own business, cleaning your shared home with you bare hands, putting you hand down the sofa cushions and feeling 

 **Ashton** : a fucking sex toy

 **Ashton** : with your bare fingers 

 **Ashton** : can one of you please just own up and tell me that the sex toy was not used 

 **Michael** : I'm sure nobody would use a sex toy and then shove it down the sofa 

 **Michael** : if anyone were to use it you'd think afterwards they'd store it in a place for cleaning or safe keeping

 **Calum** : like in between the sofa cushions for instance

 **Michael** : exactly 

 **Ashton** : WAS THE SEX TOY USED OR NOT 

 **Luke** : I think this isn't as big a deal as you're making it out to be 

 **Ashton** : MY BARE HAND 

 **Michael** : well if you've washed your hands since I personally don't see the issue 

 **Michael** : unless you have an issue with somebody using an anal vibrator that is

 **Ashton** : of course I don't 

 **Ashton** : stick whatever you want in your body, just don't do it IN THE LIVING ROOM. I don't care if this whole god damn band is gayer than Harry Styles himself, I just want a clean, vibrator-free living room. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? 

 **Calum** : noted 

 **Michael** : ^ 

 **Ashton** : ok but come on I'm slightly curious 

 **Luke** : I am also curious 

 **Michael** : as I am 

 **Calum** : it was not my vibrator, jfc. 

 **Michael** : so nobody owned the vibrator. Interesting. 

 **Ashton** : Luke you are awfully quiet 

 **Luke** : are you serious 

 **Luke** : does this face look like the face of a boy who would willingly buy an anal vibrator without dying of embarrassment in the process 

 **Ashton** : yeah it's definitely not Luke's

 **Michael** : what if it came with the couch 

 **Michael** : like a freebie 

 **Ashton** : you 

 **Ashton** : you did not just say that

 **Ashton** : I can't 

 **Ashton** : MICHAEL 

 **Calum** : ash we've had that couch for fucking years he's just playing with you

 **Ashton** : WAS THE VIBRATOR USED

 **Ashton** : guys I'm actually freaking out. I really just want cleanliness I just 

 **Ashton** : please 

 **Calum** : dude honestly I don't own any sex toys I don't know how I can help you

 **Ashton** : one of you knows why it was there and this conversation will not end until I find out who it is

 **Calum** : dude honestly if someone is using that in our house I genuinely do not want to know

 **Calum** : no offence but I'm good with being blissfully ignorant of the entire thing

 **Michael** : maybe whoever uses it looks hot while using it

 **Michael** : you don't know their life

 **Ashton** : I fucking knew it was you

 **Ashton** : you kinky little fuck, why was it downstairs

 **Calum** : I have so many images in my head

 **Calum** : this is exactly what I didn't want to happen

 **Ashton** : it was clean though right 

 **Michael** : I don't use it!

 **Ashton** : so it was just downstairs as a new fucking ornament????

 **Luke** : the reveal

 **Calum** : this is intense

 **Calum** : mate I can't think of what else a man would need an anal vibrator for

 **Ashton** : when did you even leave it there??

 **Michael** : I don't use it on myself ok

 **Ashton** : YOU WERE USING IT ON SOMEONE ELSE IN THE LIVING ROOM

 **Ashton** : THAT'S

 **Ashton** : I'M GOING TO THROW UP

 **Ashton** : My baRE HAND

 **Calum** : lol I hope it wasn't some random groupie

 **Luke** : not everyone fucks all the groupies Cal

 **Ashton** : it

 **Ashton** : you know her right

 **Ashton** : you know who it was 

 **Ashton** : they don't have an STD right

 **Michael** : :')

 **Ashton** : right????

 **Michael** : I'm not sure

 **Ashton** : mICHAEL

 **Calum** : dude he's fucking with you again

 **Ashton** : when did you put it there

 **Michael** : the day you found it jesus christ okay

 **Michael** : it was clean, nobody used it, let the subject go

 **Luke** : you embarrassed mikey? :) 

 **Calum** : then why was it there? 

 **Ashton** : see even Calum is curious now

 **Ashton** : but thank you, I feel a lot better knowing that

 **Michael** : I'm not telling you anything else

 **Calum** : I think he was gunna use it 

 **Calum** : do you remember interrupting anything bc I don't 

 **Luke** : he told you

 **Luke** : why aren't you letting it go

 **Ashton** : when I got home him and Luke were just watching TV

 **Ashton** : like?? 

 **Calum** : he and Luke

 **Calum** : AND LUKE

 **Calum** : LUKE

 **Michael** : you really think I was going to use a vibrator on Luke

 **Michael** : Luke is literally the most innocent person in this band leave him out of this

 **Ashton** : were you

 **Luke** : I hate this band

 **Michael** : I asked you guys to let it go

 **Calum** : why aren't you denying it

 **Calum** : dude I was JOKING

 **Calum** : are you guys actually

 **Luke** : YES OK JUST LEAVE IT ALONE

 **Luke** : why can't you just let it go!! 

 **Ashton** : oh my god

 **Ashton** : you guys

 **Ashton** : since when

 **Calum** : I think we upset them

 **Michael** : you think

Michael: I told you to drop it 

 **Ashton** : maybe if you didn't leave sex toys around the house this wouldn't have happened

 **Ashton** : I hope you learnt your lesson

 **Calum** : I'm so confused right now

 **Calum** : are you and Luke a thing or something? 

 **Ashton** : please don't say that

 **Ashton** : that's so weird

 **Michael** : go fuck yourself 

 **Calum** : you know he doesn't mean it like that Mikey

 **Calum** : just the thought of you and Luke getting it on is weird

 **Michael** : you aren't making it better 

**_Luke Has Left The Chat_ **

**Michael** : assholes

 **Michael** : this is why we didn't tell you in the first place

 **Michael** : because you'd find it weird and disgusting and shit

 **Ashton** : we didn't say disgusting

 **Ashton** : do you really think we'd do that?

 **Calum** : I ship #Muke

 **Michael** : oh my god

 **Michael** : can you just pretend you don't know or something

 **Calum** : we all know that'll definitely work

 **Ashton** : we should talk about this

**_Ashton Has Added Luke To The Chat_ **

**Calum** : don't leave

 **Calum** : Ashton wants to talk this out because he's Ashton

 **Luke** : nothing to talk about

 **Michael** : why don't you guys listen???

 **Michael** : just leave him out of it

 **Calum** : adorable

 **Calum** : you're sticking up for him and everything

 **Luke** : right

 **Luke** : I'm leaving

 **Ashton** : no wait

 **Ashton** : you guys are together? Or fucking around? Or what?? 

 **Michael** : we're not fucking around

 **Calum** : so you're together

 **Michael** : if you insist on knowing, yes

 **Ashton** : since when

 **Luke** : since none of your goddamn business

 **Calum** : what crawled up your ass and died

 **Luke** : is that supposed to be funny 

 **Calum** : wait I didn't

 **Calum** : I didn't mean that in like

 **Calum** : the gay way

**_Luke Has Left The Chat_ **

**Michael** : there is something so wrong with you

**_Ashton Has Added Luke To The Chat_ **

**Luke** : do you even understand how embarrassing this is?

 **Luke** : and you're both just making jokes about it?? 

 **Calum** : I didn't mean it like that, seriously

 **Calum** : I didn't even think

 **Ashton** : wait why are you embarrassed

 **Ashton** : you and Michael fuck, so what? Not like there hasn't been sexual tension there since you guys made friends in year 9

 **Luke** : you found an anal vibrator

 **Luke** : I'm embarrassed 

 **Calum** : so you like it up the ass? That's what you're embarrassed about?

 **Michael** : mate you need to say the words you're typing out loud as you type

 **Michael** : because I know you mean well but he's fucking upset and you aren't helping

 **Ashton** : well I mean it's true

 **Ashton** : NOT A BAD THING

 **Ashton** : we don't mind how you like it

 **Calum** : exactly

 **Calum** : you and Mikey can do whatever

 **Luke** : glad we have your permission 

 **Ashton** : now you're just being difficult on purpose

 **Michael** : we make out a lot

 **Calum** : wonderful

 **Michael** : what

 **Michael** : if you really want to accept it we'll probably kiss in front of you guys so?? 

 **Ashton** : that's great and all

 **Ashton** : but

 **Ashton** : no more sex toys downstairs

 **Ashton** : at all

 **Calum** : I think that's a fair rule

 **Michael** : deal

 **Luke** : *thumbs up* 

 **Calum** : so do you guys sometimes switch roles

 **Luke** : you can't just ask that

 **Ashton** : I think that's a no then

 **Ashton** : you know the more I think about it

 **Ashton** : the more I think you guys have been hooking up since year 9

 **Michael** : right

 **Calum** : omg they have

 **Luke** : now you're both just being annoying

 **Ashton** : you made friends BECAUSE you fucked didn't you??

 **Michael** : shut up

 **Calum** : OH MY GOD!!!! 

 **Luke** : we were 14

 **Luke** : we didn't fuck

 **Ashton** : right

 **Michael** : however there may have been a blowjob or two 

 **Calum** : this is GOLD

 **Calum** : our entire band is based on blowjobs

 **Luke** : you know I hate to say it but he's right

 **Ashton** : huh

 **Michael** : well aren't we all glad we had this conversation

 **Calum** : you know

 **Calum** : I can't even imagine Luke being dominant during sex

 **Calum** : everything is making so much sense right now

 **Luke** : okay we've talked it out lets not take it further

 **Michael** : lowkey wanna brag

 **Michael** : lowkey wanna keep my relationship stable

 **Luke** : I suggest not bragging

 **Calum** : brag about what

 **Michael** : Luke is fucking hot you guys can suck it

 **Michael** : I'm dating a 10 and you guys are forever alone

 **Luke** : I hate this band


End file.
